There once was a princess who lived in a far off castle with a fearsome dragon. She had been gone so long that the townspeople forgot who had locked her up there in the first place. Many princes had gone on quests to save her, but none returned. An arrogant young prince decided it was his duty to save her, and if she happened to fall in love with him during this process, well that would be all the better.

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He traveled a long and hard journey on horseback up to the castle; crossing rickety bridges and swimming through moats. Surely, she would be floored by his dedication. Finally he reached the castle, and to his surprise the door was open. He found the princess reading quietly with the dragon surrounded by skeletons and armor.

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The prince barged in, “Princess, I’ve come to rescue you!” He shouted valiantly.

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The princess and the dragon gave each other a knowing look. The dragon opened it’s jaws to swallow the prince. But before the dragon could swallow him, the prince stabbed the dragon in the foot. The dragon let out a wretched noise, and the princess cried out,

 

“Stop!” The princess screamed. She ran in front of the creature before the prince could strike again.

 

“But, that beast almost killed me! It must be slain!” argued the prince. This was not at all how he thought this was going to go.

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The princess examined the dragon’s wound. She whipped around to the prince, and looked him dead in the eye. “If you touch one scale, I promise you a slow and painful death accompanied by an eternity of hellfire.” She ran out of the room. The prince was surprised to find himself more afraid of the princess than the dragon. He sheathed his sword.

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The princess came back with a medical kit. She cleaned and dressed the dragon’s wounds speaking to her softly to comfort her. When she finished the dragon fell asleep, worn by pain and blood loss.

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“Why are you here?” The princess asked the prince.

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He perked up, “To rescue you fair maid!”

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The princess sighed, “Rescue me from what?”

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The prince was not sure what to say. It was clear the princess was unafraid of the dragon, and the door to the castle was open. “Well I had heard…”

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“Heard what?” She challenged him, “That a princess was living with a dragon?”

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“Yes, exactly-” He started, but the princess interrupted him.

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“Had it ever occured to you that it was not you saving me from the dragon, but the dragon saving me from you?”

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“But I-”

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“No, but I’m sure you’re a good guy, right? A knight in shining armour. You would never take advantage of the fact you were armed and have me alone in a far away castle. No, you’re just the guy who tried to kill an innocent animal and claim a woman you’ve never met as your prize for doing so.”

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The prince was stunned. The dragon woke up, she noticed the prince was still here and grew furious, rearing to blast him with flame. The prince cowered behind his shield preparing to be scorched alive.

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The princess held up her hand, “It’s alright Eliza. We’re going to let this one go.” The dragon immediately calmed down, shrugging her shoulders, and went back to napping.

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The prince fell to his knees kissing the princesses feet. “How can I ever repay you? I’ll do anything.”

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The princess pushed the prince’s head down to the floor with her foot. “Go back to the village, and tell them to stop sending princes here.”